Graham Chapman as Brother / Policeman / Defence attorney / British pedestrian / Mr. Harrison (Apricot) / The Colonel / 'Hell's Grannies' policeman / Jimmy Blankensop / Sir Edward Ross / Restaurant patron #1 / Letter Writer / Oliver St. John Mollusk / Mountie / Town Guild Lady

John Cleese as Announcer / Hungarian Citizen / self - Defence Teacher / Sir George Head / Policeman / Interviewer / Mr. Praline / Second General / Christopher Columbus / Mungo the Cook / Bank Robber / Accountant #2 (falling past the window) / Vocational Guidance Counselor / Vivian Smith Smythe Smith / Mountie / Town Guild Lady

Terry Gilliam as Self-Defence Nun / Flasher / Uncle Sam / Caterpillar Man / Sign Holder / Conrad Poohs

Eric Idle as Prosecutor / Marriage Counselor / Arthur Nudge / Self-defence student #4 (interested in pointed sticks) / 'Hell's Grannies' analyst / Arthur Wilson / Arthur Wilson Two / Nightclub Emcee / Linkman / First General / Restaurant Manager / Lingerie Shop Owner / Accountant #1 (falling past the window) / Fairy Godmother / Rita Fairbanks / Simon Zinc Trumpet Harris / Mountie / Lady With Cookbook